Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Knock ... Knock

(stepping into the White House) .... Hello (knock knock) ... Hellooooo ... anyone there? (Seeing Red Phone on desk, I pick it up)

Mr. President? ... Ummm .. Barack, are you there buddy? I need to talk to you.

Oh you're in Denmark trying to get the Olympics for Chicago ... okay ... but I just wanted to tell you that your health care bill - you know the one Ted Kennedy died trying to get through ... that one ... well, it just went to hell in a hand basket and ...

Well, you're not here in Washington and maybe that's why five Democrats thought they could vote "no" on the public option. I know it's not real important to you.

Me? Well, it's kinda important to me - with my eye falling out and all. But you got better things to do - like have a big party in Copenhagen.

You don't say ... Copenhagen is the "Most Livable City" according to Monocle magazine. Well, that's probably due to universal health care .. right?

No .. no sir .. I'm not trying to be a smart ass.

Well, what's wrong sir is there is no public option in the health care bill. As a matter of fact five of our own Democrats along with all the Republicans voted the public option down.

I did speak to Rahm, but he told me to stuff the public option up my ... well, it's not important. I was just hoping that when you got back you could ...

Oh, you're going golfing with Ron Williams, CEO of Aetna ... No, I don't think he'll allow the public option even if you say pretty please.

Okay .. you got to go ... sure, you'll see me in 2012. Ya know, Mr. President - I'm going to have to go ahead a take a pass on that one. I think I'll be too busy to cast my vote that day.

(thinking) I wonder what Ralph Nader is up to?

Friday, September 25, 2009

My Dog - The escape artist

The dog my wife and daughter begged me to get has now become a Houdini like escape artist. She breaks out of her cage, the backyard, and the fenced in family room. Here is a video showing her in action.

Please enjoy my misery.

In the Shadows

The following is a list of conspiracy theories I believe are true. Not that I know they're true but I'm over 80% certain they're true. Fair enough ... Okay, here we go

1. The CIA is involved in the illegal drug trade 95% (source)
2. There was a male prostitute that visited the George W. Bush White House 98% (source)
3. The United States used chemical weapons on Iraqi civilians. 99% (source)
4. Michael Savage was a homosexual drug user. (87%) (source)
5. Oswald was not the only shooter in the Kennedy assassination 81% (source)
6. Blackwater conducted assignations around the world on Dick Cheney's orders 91% (source)
7. Mars has primitive life living on the planet now. 92% (source)
8. Mike Connell's (IT expert for Karl Rove) plane crash was no accident 80% (source)
9. The DC Madam's suicide was no suicide 84% (source)
10. President Bush used a communication device during the 2004 debate 95% (source)
11. InfraGard is the United States' KGB unit and gathers info on citizens. 84% (source)
12. Ronald Reagan traded arms for hostages in Iran Hostage Crisis. 90% (source)
13. Member's of Yale's Skull & Bones stole Geronimo's skull 80% (source)
14. United Flight 93 was shot down over Pennsylvania on September 11, 2001 83% (source)
15. Oliver North drafted a secret plan to declare martial law 93% (source)
16. The Soviet military build up and threat was a lie. 87% (source)
17. In 1975 the CIA overthrew Australian Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam 92% (source)
18. Paul Wellstone's, Senator from Minnesota plane crash was no accident. 80% (source)
19. Where ever John Negroponte goes there is death and destruction 85% (source)
20. Royal Dutch Shell was involved in the murders of native people. 92% (source)

There you have it.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Nine Horsemen

Senator Sheldon Whitehouse a Democrat from Rhode Island was talking to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Mike Papantonio's on their radio show, Ring of Fire. (September 15, 2009).

In this interview they were discussing how to prosecute those persons involved in torture, rendition, and other illegal activities under President George W. Bush's administration. The topic of political influence placed on Attorney General Eric Holder not to investigate or prosecute was being discussed when Senator Whitehouse alluded to a letter submitted by Republican Senators.

Senator Whitehouse: "... Very unfortunate letter from nine of my colleagues went over to Eric Holder seeking to influence his judgment and he wrote back a very good letter saying, look appreciate you have views but they don't count in making a prosecutor's decisions. He had exactly the right tone .."

Kennedy: "Was the letter urging him not to prosecute?"

Senator Whitehouse: "Yea .."

Kennedy: "And it was from Democrats and Republicans?"

Seantor Whitehouse: "Nope, all Republicans."

Starts around 4:35 in the video.

Who were these nine Republican Senators and what does this letter say?

Friday, September 18, 2009

What health care plan?

I thought when Obama saw Baucus health care plan he was gong to be like:

Hey Buttcus what the hell is this? (waving plan in the air). Are you shitting me? (smells the papers) This plan stinks so bad I think it came out of your ass.

But that's just not the case. Obama says - although he prefers the government option, he has left the door open to a scaled-back compromise. What door? Oh you mean the back door. Cause that just where guys like me are going to take it - in the back door.

Look, I like you Obama. I voted for you and I even campaigned for you. But if you don't have the guts to support a government option then just shut the hell up. Please, don't embarrass yourself any further.

Maybe you haven't read the bill. I have .. and it is the worst piece of crap. I would rather you just did nothing. Really, just blow it off - The Baucus plan makes my life so much worse and it already is a piece of crap.

I think you've already forgotten the little people. You know the people who got you elected. Maybe it's the beer and the cigars - maybe it's taking up golf instead of basketball. I don't know, but you need to get your head together and kick Baucus in the ass and start all over - start with universal heath care and stick it to the Republicans.

Good day sir ... I said good day ..

Sunday, September 13, 2009

We have met the enemy and he is us

"We have met the enemy and he is us" is the title of a 1950's comic book by Walt Kelly. Pogo was a conscientious possum filled with good will. Always (in a child-like manner) searching for truth.Nothing seems more appropriate this morning than that statement.

Yesterday, September 12, 2009, eight years and one day after terrorist flew planes into the World Trade Center buildings in New York and the Pentagon in Washington DC, there was a gathering of several thousand people on the National Mall.

They were not there in remembrance of the 911 victims, nor the brave men and women who gave their lives defending our freedoms. They did not honor our nation or it's people.

These American citizens gathered together out of a common fear of government. At the event, wild conspiracies were shouted along with the words, "Liar", "Hitler" and "Nigger".

Fear, anger, jealously, maliciousness, idolatry, greed, selfishness, stubbornness and hate - these were their motives.

The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either — but right through every human heart — and through all human hearts. This line shifts. Inside us, it oscillates with the years. And even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained. And even in the best of hearts, there remains… an un-uprooted small corner of evil.

[Gulag Archipelago, vol. 2, "The Ascent"]

The believer says we are all under God's eye and has commanded us to be of one mind and one heart. The believer also says Christ is the King of Peace.

As an agnostic, I sometimes wonder what God must think of us. As the richest nation on Earth we worry about secret military camps and birth certificates - We spend a whole day raising a fist that an illegal immigrant might get healthcare and never notice that 30,000 children died yesterday or starvation and disease.

I would revise Pogo's line in this way. "We have met the damned and God has damned us."

This post was inspired by a talk given by Jim Forest

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Duesh Bag Brigade

Robert Millage of Kamiah, Idaho simultaneously was the first person to shoot a wolf in the lower 48 states and be awarded the biggest duesh bag in Idaho. Millage a real estate agent, who is not affected by the wolf population killed the animal because it's illegal to kill people.

Millage fits the typical profile of a major duesh bag. Self centered, narcissistic and generally a violent, malicious asshole. The dude thinks God put wolves on Earth for him to shoot. As I said before I've nothing against hunting. People got to eat - so animals got to die. This is the nature of things. It's perfectly fine with me if a person kills a deer as long as they eat the meat.

Being an agnostic, I can only hope there is some karmic equalization and Millage ends up as some second hand prison bitch. He already has the gay goatee.

To me there's no difference between Robert Millage and the Tea Baggers who protested today in Washington DC.

As the New York Times put it:

A sea of protesters filled the west lawn of the Capitol and spilled onto the National Mall on Saturday in the largest rally against President Obama since he took office, a culmination of a summer-long season of protests that began with an opposition to health care and grew into a broader dissatisfaction with government. Thousands Rally in Capital ...

The New York Times should know better. This has nothing to do with health care nor is it about big government. Were there any protests from these retards when Reagan grew the deficit? This is clearly about racism. As one HuffingtonPost blogger put it, "It's a KKK rally without the hoods."

I don't know if I would put it that strongly, but certainly if you look at the crowd it is all white and they're concentrating almost exclusively on Obama. Racism definitely plays a major role, but I think more importantly is a loss of civility and community.

These are people who do not consider themselves Americans. To put it another way, they see a white America and a colored America. And now that a colored America has taken over, they want to separate - secede from the Union.

This racist feeling has been justified and sanctified by politicians and so-called news networks like FOX. Texas governor, Rick Perry has toyed with the idea of succession- even while his administration takes in millions of dollars in federal money.

I believe it stems from a damage image of self. (I mean this sincerely) I wouldn't doubt if many of these people were either physically, mentally or sexually abused as children. The projection of hate and distrust is simply not rational.

These people have a kind of toddler's image of themselves. They see the universe revolving around them. All of their problems, concerns and frustrations stem from an external force.
Millage believes the wolf has in some way offended or insulted him. Maybe it was because he read that a wolf somewhere killed a sheep. Who knows - but Millage has internalized this as something personal enough to go kill a wolf.
The same can be said of the Tea Baggers. They for some reason think that Obama has personally hurt or offended them in some way. That out of 300 million Americans, Obama has targeted them personally.
At the heart of it, it is some kind of mental illness.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Thank you Sam Seder

Thanks goes out to Sam Seder for cheering me up before the speech today. He posted this funny, ironic video on Twitter.

It is the best!

Healthcare Plan

There are so many voices talking about healthcare that it seems redundant for me to talk about it on this tiny, little blog. I can only give this simple plea.

Like Michelle Obama's father I have Multiple Sclerosis. I won't go into it, but it sucks and it's expensive. I work as an independent contractor from time to time and I write. I would like to continue doing so, but I need insurance.

I can't afford a $1,000 a month plan + deductible and prescription plan. I just can't.

I worked hard to get Obama and other Democrats elected. I suffered eight years under that village idiot, George Bush. I've waited patiently for this moment when a public plan would be available (I really wanted Universal Coverage). And now it looks like I'm going to get screwed again.

Obama came into power promising an end to cynicism, but so far with his limp noodle response to the healthcare plan in Congress, he has created the greatest cynicism of all. I believed his rhetoric of hope and change and now I've an sinking feeling that I'm going to get screwed.

President Obama you have one chance in tonight's speech to turn it around. Please don't suck.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Everything sounds better

Yes, everything sounds better when you Auto-tune the news.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

From the fine folks who give you gas

From time to time it's important for me to stop obsessing over the dull witted and inane Republicans and take a moment to remember those who are truly evil. And in celebration of the Evil among us I give you the most evil man that ever existed - Thomas Midgley Jr.

What? You thought I was going to say Hitler - maybe Stalin, Saddam Hussein or were you thinking old school like Vlad the Impaler. No, no, no my friends - these idiots were mere amateurs; very micro-evil if you will. Midgley was far more horrific in scale and consequence. Midgley killed more people and continues to kill more people that all those old evil freaks combined. Midgley exported his evil around the world. He came very close to killing the Earth.

Okay - who is Thomas Midgley Jr.? He was a mechanical engineer and chemist, who invented tetra-ethyl lead (the lead in leaded gasoline) and if that wasn't enough he also invented chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs).

According to Wikipedia, "One historian remarked that Midgley 'had more impact on the atmosphere than any other single organism in Earth's history.'"

What is tetra-ethyl lead and why was it so dangerous? In the early 1920's, automobiles had a major problem - they knocked. I guess knocking is the wrong word. They sounded like the engine was going to explode when you drove it. Knocking occurs when the fuel inconsistently ignites, sometimes exploding outside of the piston. It was loud, smelly and would give a horse a heart attack.

Early on, automobile enthusiasts found that adding a bit of clear grain alcohol lowered the volatility of the gasoline and prevented knocking. Seems like problem solved right?

Well, here's the problem. Companies really hate the following things. 1) Anything that might lower their profit margin. Alcohol was a bit expensive compared to gasoline. 2) Is easily produced by small businesses or individuals. Grain alcohol is extremely easy to produce. 3) Uses common materials that can be found in any geographic location. All you need is grain, yeast and heat.

General Motors and the oil companies were desperately looking for an alternative. So along comes Evil Midgely and his plan is to put poisonous lead in gasoline I have to give it Junior, it worked, but it also pumped millions of tons of this neurotoxin into the air.

Children all across America suffered from lead poisoning just by breathing the air. According to an article in The Nation:

A 1985 EPA study estimated that as many as 5,000 Americans died annually from lead-related heart disease prior to the country's lead phaseout. According to a 1988 report to Congress on childhood lead poisoning in America by the government's Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, one can estimate that the blood-lead levels of up to 2 million children were reduced every year to below toxic levels between 1970 and 1987 as leaded gasoline use was reduced. From that report and elsewhere, one can conservatively estimate that a total of about 68 million young children had toxic exposures to lead from gasoline from 1927 to 1987.

Now if that isn't pure evil, I don't know what is.

Midgely did suffer for his dirty deed. According to Wikipedia:

On October 30, Midgley participated in a press conference to demonstrate the "safety" of contact with the substance. In this demonstration, he poured tetra-ethyl lead over his hands, then placed a bottle of the chemical under his nose and breathed it in for sixty seconds, declaring that he could do this every day without succumbing to any problems whatsoever. However, the plant was decisively shut down by the State of New Jersey a few days later, and Standard was forbidden to manufacture TEL there again without state permission. Midgley himself was careful to avoid mentioning to the press that he subsequently required nearly a year to recover from the lead poisoning brought on by his demonstration.

This alone might qualify Midgely for "Most Evil" but he went one step further. In 1930, Midgely at the behest of GM invented a cheap chemical to use in refrigerant, dichlorodifluoromethane or CFC. Midgely came up with a much friendlier name, Freon.

My guess is that Midgely was not satisfied killing children, he needed a bigger project. So why not try to kill the Earth? What does CFC do that is so bad. It only destroys the Ozone layer in the atmosphere. Ozone is the only chemical that blocks harmful UV-B radiation. This radiation kills living organisms - like us.

For these two extraordinary accomplishments, I give to Thomas Midgely Jr. the "Holy Most Evil" award. Congratulations.

What happened to Midgely? Well, I guess there is some karmic justice in the universe. In 1940 Midgely contracted polio which left him severely disabled. Always the inventor, Midgely designed his own death. He created a system of pulleys and ropes to help get him into bed. One night he accidentally entangled himself in this device and died of strangulation.

The Nation's article on leaded gas
How do CFCs destroy the Ozone